What’s happening, hombres? Cool Wizard here, rapping at you live and ferocious. My new video came out today over at YouTube, make sure you share it all over the place. View, share, subscribe, comment, donate, blog, pin, retweet, hacky LinkedN sales pitch email, whatever you can think of.

Anyway. If anybody out there at Mad Max Inc. is listening, and you should be, I’m just spilling ideas for franchise spin-offs and sequels. Here’s a few of the duds you can have for free. That’s right, these cool-as-ice, sure-fire hits are wizard duds.

You want the good ideas? Send a fat cheque to the coolest wizard you know.

COOL IDEAS: MAD MAX

  • Mad Max – The Dusts of FuryHow could we have known that the endless chase scenes of Mad Max: Fury Road would create a vicious, sentient dust bowl intent on devouring humanity? We couldn’t have known. Of course we couldn’t. But it’s happening anyway.
  • Mad MaxineGender swap! A magical scroll found inside the Citadel means sex mix-up mayhem as everyone randomly swaps lady/man bits. Some people end up with animal bits, and some people get nothing at all. Boys and Girls by Blur plays on repeat throughout, 127 minute running time.
  • Mad MarxIn the wake of a political coup, a group of wise-cracking con artists find themselves running the wasteland. But can pithy one-liners and impeccably timed physical comedy save them from resource shortages, power-hungry advisors, and dangerous pratfalls?
  • Mad Marx II – Flight of the ProletariatCommunist minded slaves flee a dangerous cult-nation to start one of their own.
  • A Very Mad Max Christmas: It’s Christmas in the wasteland, but how could Santa could survive the death of civilization? With a little help from Mad Max, that’s how. YesFuriosa, there is a Santa Claus, and he drives a War Sleigh loaded with chain-guns and pulled by eight fire-deer.
    • Note: “Fire-Deer” are simply pieces of fire, formed and animate via spells, that happen to be in the shape of reindeer. As if you didn’t already know!
  • Mad SmaxA slapping contest between Max and whoever. It doesn’t matter. (Short Film).
  • Mad Plaques: Max finds the time and freedom to open that artisanal wood-burning kiosk he’s been dreaming of for years, and his designs are absolutely fantastic. Dramatic tension arises from shortage of wood.
  • Mad Stacks: Uh oh! Max and the gang wind up in mesa country, but there’s no way their war machines can climb those natural plateaus! Not without some serious upgrades, that is. High flying action as cars climb and leap between these monuments to the glory of nature.
  • Mad Max – Car Jacking: If we learned anything from Fury Road, it’s that car maintenance is everyone’s responsibility. This film will combine the intense thrill-ride that is the Mad Max universe with the educational value of knowing how to use a car jack, change a tire, or jerry-rig a radiator hose.
  • Duck Tales – The Mad Max Years: Finally! The crossover hit Tumblr fanatics have been screaming their melodramatic, histrionic little heads off for. Take three young ducks, their rich Scottish uncle (also a duck), and a bunch of other stupid anthropomorphized ducks and put them in the wasteland. Two pieces of nostalgia in one adrenaline packed adventure? You can print your own money!

I’ll be watching for your cheques or money orders, Hollywood.

Cool Wizard Out.