Resolutions From My Soul
There are so many articles about New Year’s Resolutions going around. I love it! It’s a tradition that reminds us of who we were and who we want to become. I don’t want this to be just another array of typical, intangible promises to myself that fade with my first drive by the real milkshakes offered at ‘Peter’s Drive-In’.
I want it to be THE one for me, every year, with only tweaks made each new year depending on my soul growth the previous year. I want to continually become a nicer, more trusted person.I also want my resolutions to mean something to those around me who are effected by me as well.
Because, really, we DO affect one another.
Oh, we can get ourselves off the hook by powdering up that responsibility with lame-o’s like:
“Live for yourself”
“Don’t worry about what other’s think”
“I am only responsible for my own happiness”.
Truth is, though we cannot please everyone, and we can only control what WE do for the better of ourselves, WE DO EFFECT ONE ANOTHER. What goes around, comes around. HOW we affect one another is up to you and me. But knowing that I DO affect other’s helps me become even more aware of the ‘how’ I make my decisions, and I will work to consider the whole of the who that I effect when I make them.
Responsiblity. Accountablity. ConscioUSability.
Today I start with:
My #1 task of 2015…eliminate the things that are taking me from my ultimate, personal goal and purpose.
My #1 oath for 2015…say ‘No’ to the things that may take me away from my ultimate, personal goal and purpose.
I easily get pumped up about hopping on board other people’s ideas of success. I feel somewhat obligated to flow up their stream instead of trusting my own rhythm.
I also jump right in when I see a good thing before thinking it through. But it may not necessarily be ‘Me”. It is not fair to anyone if I do not honor me. Not fair to me. Not fair to the other party. I am dishonoring the purpose within me that is trying to tell me, “Trust me, I am here to be your all and everything you are meant to be. Just give me your devotion.”
Recently I listened to an inspirational speaker who spoke about focus. He not only encouraged me to really focus, honestly. He made me real-eyes that I had to start narrowing down my mission, and learning to say ‘No’ is a big part of that. To be a successful visionary and entrepreneur you must learn to say ‘No’ a lot, in order to keep your focus and reach the dreams you so desire. Time’s a tickin by. Not a moment to waste!
So, BAMM!! I made some loving adjustments in my life today that warranted my attention. I simply said, or did, ‘NO!’ xoxo
My #2 task for 2015 is something my spouse and I had a very blunt discussion about when we first met one another. The subtle abuse of humor. We then made a pact, due to previous relationships, to correct one another if we ever fall into the trap of sarcasm, or joking, at the expense of one another, ourselves, or other people.
With so much debasing humor and sarcasm surrounding society nowadays it’s no wonder we, as a society, find ourselves in a constant state of puzzlement when it comes to keeping relationships, communities and countries living in harmony past our first disagreement or noticeable difference.
So, my Task #2 for 2015: ‘Correct and immediately stop any debasing humor or sarcasm toward one another, by one another, or toward others.’
My Pact #2 for 2015: I will honor the integrity of myself, my husband, my family, my friends, and everyone I haven’t met yet, at all times. That honor includes shutting that kind of behavior down. Immediately.
Thought. Word. Speak. Consequence. Hurting vs Loving.
I received a call from a friend in the depths of despair this morning.
She was stuck in the middle of fear vs faith, loving acceptance vs tough love.
I have watched her over the last few years make exception after exception for this person she was trying to adjust to with grace and dignity, but nothing was shifting.
She is one of the two people in my life whom I go to when I need to hear the truth, blunt as a sledge-hammer. So, I listened and then I opened up my tool box. The toolbox she helped me to build throughout my own years of learning.
I told her what I saw from the outside, looking in. I DIDN’T powder it up with ‘Oh Dear’s”. Not this time. I told her that she had to start BEING mad! No more tippy-toeing around feelings when this particular situation was, simply, wrong. Everyone deserves honesty, even the offender! How then can he/she correct their behavior and grow? How will you know if they are a value to you, or a hindrance? You do no one any favors by not saying the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
I encouraged her to start telling HER truth! Defend her own honor!
To BE the shift she wants to see!
And, to stop being afraid that she would lose that person entirely because she ALREADY HAD lost them by being what she was to them: a doormat.
I was her. I did that. And I made the shift to respect myself at the risk of losing someone.
AND I’m respected in return now! Effortlessly.
I’ll never forget the words of my ex when we talked about the ‘why’s’ of our relationship falling apart.
“If you didn’t really love me,” I asked him, “Why did YOU stay so long?”
He looked at me casually and replied, “Because you made it so easy to take advantage of you. Why not?”
That statement of truth really pisses me off to this day; it’s THAT true!
He didn’t respect me because I wasn’t brave enough to stand by my own yes’s and no’s, limits and standards. If I had stood up to him sooner, I would have shortened the years of pain into months of simple discomfort and it would have been a nicer split, with much less damage to everyone that our relationship involved.
Only 3 people in my entire circle of life loved me enough, during the time I was with him, to be bluntly honest about what they saw and how they felt about it.
It was up to me to listen or not.
I still made my own decisions.
I was mad as hell at them for a while.
I didn’t talk to them, or I made out like everything was rosey , or I avoided talking about it altogether. But I tell you, the seeds they planted, even though I hated them (more like, what they had to say) at the time, became roots that I could depend on to be there when his purpose for me was fulfilled and I was ready to pull myself away from him.
And those roots WERE there.
Truth never wavers.
So Task #3 for 2015: When asked my opinion, or when I see a loved one in a bad situation, I AM going to tell my truth, whether they still like me later or not, BECAUSE I love them enough to take that risk!
Pact #3 for 2015: No matter the risk of losing (for a while) someone I love, I WILL honor them by being completely honest.
I WILL honor them by planting a seed necessary to grow in order to be strong and ready for when they need to reach out and grab it.
I hope your New Year ahead will be:
Fullwith one another.