Evan Elberson is a writer, copywriter, and comedian based out of Chicago. He spends his spare time dabbling in wild flights of fancy, free-form mono-conversation, and biting satire of day-to-day mundanity. Evan has been kind enough to share them here with the Caotica audience. A series of stories and lists from his sharp and incisive mind appears here before you, free of charge, today. Enjoy.

Today, a selection of five lists from Evan’s collection of favourite lists.

Ten smells I like

1. New car
2. coffee
3. wet dog
4. eucalyptus
5. bacon
6. fried chicken
7. clean girl head hair
8. pool chlorine
9. beach
10. new shoe

Top ten least favorite films

1. Simon Birch
2. Maid in Manhattan
3. The Hillz
4. How to be a Bad Boy, or something, I don’t remember the name, it’s about some kid who tries to get girls by being a douche, it’s on Netflix
5. Indian in the Cupboard
6. High School Musical 2
7. Beowulf, the computer animated one
8. Armageddon
9. Bella
10. A Thousand Clowns

Five things I like most people don’t

1. Being hit by women
2. Anchovy pizza
3. Dave Matthews
4. Nicolas Cage
5. Haircuts without conversation

Five things I would do if money were no object

1. Start a production company where I write, voice, and direct an animated series, and foster other talented creative people who do their own weird shit
2. Eat lobster and sushi every week
3. Put a high end gym in my home and take MMA lessons
4. Get a decent boathouse
5. Write and direct a live comedy revue that involves lots of music

Top ten TV shows I am not a fan of

1. Men at Work
2. The Waltons
3. The Middle
4. Ed, Edd, and Eddy
5. Big Bang Theory
6. According to Jim
7. Two Broke Girls
8. 16 and Pregnant
9. Seventh Heaven
10. Nikki and Sara Live